If 'Modern', Then What?

The all too interesting topic of 'modernness' cropped up in a conversation, last evening.

A friend, talking about her sibling's undesirable state of singledom, was trying to explain the dilemma her brother faced, when it came to the choice of a bride.

The lad, in question, possessed all the ingredients, that, went into the making of a modern day prince charming

He was educated.
Well-employed.
And, reasonably good-looking.

That, he was settled in the U. S of A, only served to enhance his appeal to the fairer sex, back home.

And yet, he remained foot-loose, and, fancy-free, at the ripe old age of 31.

His problem, it appeared, was not, a dearth of eligible brides.
For months, his family had been staving off hordes of eager parents, armed with horoscopes, and, portfolios of their daughters in various attires and poses.

But, the lad, shied from a walk down the traditional aisle, because he hankered for a modern lass.

He probably would have found one, as well.
If it had not been, as his sister succinctly put it, for the nagging question of, If Modern, then what?

The pregnant pause, which followed, spoke volumes, about the misgivings that lurked in this young martian mind, about the dark side of the Modern Indian Woman.

I should have been outraged.
And, knowing her, she should have been too.
But, strangely, neither of us were.

The myth of the Modern Indian Woman, is one, which, I suspect, is deeply ingrained in the minds of quite a few martians.
Not, to mention a sizable portion of the Venusian population too.

Perhaps, it is because the concept of the modern woman, challenges, the stereotypes deified in our myths, lore's and legends.
'Different'.
Arrogant.
Aggressive.
Immoral.

These, are, just a few of the epithets, that are attributed to her.

Fact or fiction?
Who cares, right?

She is perceived as being too forward.
Of lacking in values, and, principles.
In the understanding of 'Indian culture.'
And, often, in 'decent' attire, as well.

Again.
Myth or reality?
Who cares?

It almost always, is, a case of give the bitch a bad name and hang her!

Tragic really.
Because, spirits, denim, cigarettes, words and demeanor, do not, a modern woman, make.

It is the mind that maketh a modern woman.

Modernness, according to me, has everything to do with a woman knowing her mind, and, having the moral strength to act accordingly.
It is about her being in touch with her needs and emotions, and, doing what it takes to express herself in the way she thinks fit.
But, above all, modernness means having the gumption to take her happiness where she finds it, without guilt weighing down her decisions, or, being plagued by an overwhelming need to justify.

In my mind, the modern woman would have to be a careerist, because financial independence would enable any woman to be independent in the fullest sense of the term.....If, she so wished it.

Perhaps, I think this way because I am one.
Although, I am only too aware that financial independence does not necessarily bring freedom in other spheres.

But, I digress.
This post is about a young man's dilemma about the Modern Indian Woman.

If only I could, I would tell him to throw caution to the winds and give himself a chance.
To, not judge the women he meets, at first glance.
Or, try fit them into stereo-typed moulds.

I wish I could tell him to go beyond the surface, and, look beneath.
And, judge with an open heart, than with a mind conditioned by society.

Because, while there are women who slip off the beam, while trying out the popular trappings of modernness.
There, also, are diamonds in the rough, whose outward appearances belie the good sense and heart that lies within.

And then, there are the rare polished gems, who, have dared to take charge of their lives, define their rules & pave their own unique paths in this world, with their own special brand of values, ideals and principles, which are guaranteed to last.

When, it comes to the choice of a woman, as a friend, lover, wife or partner, I say, a man should never give up.
After all, diamonds are forever.