Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Martians Have Landed !!!

God must have had a testosterone surge on Monday night...Because just as I was snuggling under my covers with a rather interesting book , the door bell rang and in walked three beaming martians. Well, whoever said trouble comes in threes definitely knew what he was talking about!!!
As far as outward appearances went, they looked like a trio of cheerful cherubs sans the harps, wings and halos. But the grizzled dame in the bell tower of my Venusian sixth sense wasn't fooled and began to clang her warning bells.
Don't get me wrong here. I am not a man hater nor one of those 'girly' women who is beset by fits of giggles and vapours in the presence of the opposite sex. Some of my best friends are men. But I am, first and foremost, a cranky crab and a true blue Venusian who likes some semblance of order and cleanliness in my living space. The cardinal rooming rules as far as I am concerned are:
Cups & plates belong in the kitchen sink, preferably with some water in it so that the stains do not set - The Exo Fairy does not hold a 9-5 job!!!....
Garbage, and that means even the teeniest tiniest scrap, belongs in the trash can & it goes without saying that the trash can needs to have a bag in it....
Lights switches are also subject to Newton's 3rd Law & demand an equal and opposite reaction namely 'Switch Off' .......
Loud animated conversations after 12 a.m. = baaaaad headache the next morning = DUMB idea.....
And most importantly, cigarette smoke does not qualify as fragrance of any kind - so, if you must smoke, open the goddamn windows!!!...
Unfortunately, ignorance is indeed bliss for quite a few martians from work and since our employee ratios are overwhelmingly skewed towards men, I do have the dubious responsibility of keeping the Venusian flag flying high from time to time, esp in the pad we inhabit.
To be fair, some of them are highly domesticated and serve as exemplary models of the New Age Man, but then, there also are those who insist on adhering to the stereotype!!

I debate calling my better half for some moral support but my eager fingers on phone are stayed by memories of the last time he came to my rescue. In response to my distress calls, my knight in the shining armour drove himself all the way to Bangalore and then, believe it or not, left me to watch my umpteenth rerun of an insipid Hindi movie while he took off with his best friend for a drink. And did he make amends when he got back?? Oh no, he didn't. He and the rest of the inebriated martians started a conversation which went on till 3 a.m., and then when hunger struck, decided to hit the roads in search of food!!! So nopes...This was most definitely the time for some girl power...
A short conversation with my alter ego, Kkay, and another friend is all it takes to awaken the warrior within. As I gird my loins in anticipation of skirmishes ahead, I can only hope that the cosmic hormonal balance is restored soon & peace, once more, descends in my pad....Fingers Crossed!!


  1. one does indeed feel some pity for those hapless Martians under the Venusian power ;). What happened to them in the end?

  2. Et tu Brutus? :P :P
    And here I was expecting a barrage of sympathy comments from my fellow Venusians!!!
    To cut a long story short, one martian has been despacthed back to Chennai with instructions to file my tax returns...the other two are M.I.A...But I know they are still lurking around because the Light Switches are never turned off!!! Grrrrrrr!!!!