This is me, Gingerbread a.k.a Ging. I have been trying to get my paws on the Mad Moggies Blog for quite sometime now, but mommy guards her laptop far too zealously for my comfort. So today when I saw her rooting about in the larder, I thought I would seize my opportunity....Carpe Diem and all that jazz.
* licks paws in glee*
* cocks head wondering what to write next*
*Swipes whiskers & snout to get thoughts in order*
Most of the time, the Moggies feature mommy's take on things..Can't complain because she is the artistic one in the house and does manage to post honest representations of life in our corner of the world. Like the fact that the three of us are weird cat people who live in a world of our own. And the Martian-Venusian wars which she and dad wage on each other from time to time, which shakes the house down to its foundations and makes me scurry under the bed for cover. Thankfully, these skirmishes are short-lived because none of us moggies can stay mad at each other for long. Come to think of it, mom and dad are more feline than human, albeit larger and fatter cats.
Mom does have an edge over dad, mostly because in true cat style, she can sleep hours and even days away...Crawl back and forth under the bed to play peek-a-boo with me. And besides, she almost always figures out my thoughts by just flicking a glance at me. But I digress.
The point I was going to make was that while mommy reports most events with fair accuracy, there are times when she gets some of her facts wrong. For instance, she actually believes that she fights hard for her Alpha position in the moggie household.
*bares fangs in toothy grin*
She does not realise that she is alpha only because dad and me want it that way. Life is so much easier....Food appears miraculously, there is always fresh water in our bowls, no cobwebs in corners, clothes are regularly laundered, the larder stocked and plus, she is always around to give us our belly rubs...You get the drift?
Neither of us would seriously consider fighting her for the Alpha position. If we did, it goes without saying that dad would have been the Alpha in the house. Sometimes, size does matter you know.
But dad and I love to annoy mom at every given opportunity. She is so easily bugged and there is nothing that amuses us more than the sight of her huffing and puffing about the house, muttering to herself in indignation. Just so that we can heckle her, dad plays the fool in the middle of a serious conversation or pretends to goof around when he has a chore to attend to, while I make it a point to nap on her favourite jeans, claim her chair for myself or sometimes even play kitty football with her scrunchies and spectacles. I can't tell you how much we manage to irritate mum between the two of us.
Though I must say that mommy's disappearing acts do throw things off gear.
* Eyebrows knit into a frown*
I do not know where she disappears to or how she manages to live without us...but I hate it. Missing mom means I am home alone the whole day and left to my devices, which basically means that I sleep all day long and am ready to play by the time dad gets back home. But, by then, all dad wants to do is sleep because he is way too bushed.
Mommy says that she and dad HAVE to go wandering just so they can put Whiskas kibble in my bowl. Yeah right. As if I didn't know that Whiskas came off the shelves from Spencer's next door.
*shakes head in disgust*
But, of late mommy and dad seem to be take turns to go wandering.....One comes in and the other takes off. A most unsatisfactory state of affairs!!!
And to think I, the only real cat in the house, am the one who never ventures out at all!!!
Ging never managed to complete her diatribe because mommy chose that precise moment to emerge from the larder. A glance at the recalcitrant kitty on the keyboard was enough activate the mommy antennae which immediately honed in Ging and got her hauled off the keyboards. In her defence, it must be said that she did bring down the house with her caterwauling and even attempted diversionary tactics like clawing the furniture but guess what folks? Not even a teeny weeny dent on the mommy resolve!!!
However mommy, not wanting to crush the budding writer in Ging, graciously agreed to post her semi finished piece...And peace finally reigned in the moggie household.