Showing posts with label Ging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ging. Show all posts
Monday, June 1, 2009
The Ten Catmmandments!
Catmmandment # 1
The World is a Cat's Oyster
Cats own it all.
People. Places. Possessions.
In short, everything!.
What humans think they own, is, only due to the kind graces of the cat/s they serve.
Catmmandment # 2
Cats, being the more intelligent species, are born to rule.
As all cats know, there exists an inverse co-relation between altitude and brain power.
The higher the grey cells from ground level, the lesser its effectiveness!!!
So, now you know, why human slaves so easily controlled by a crook of the claw?
Catmmandment # 3
Humans, though the high priests of the feline religion, are still slaves.
Every cat is the un-anointed representative of Gods on Earth.
They, therefore, do not socialise with lesser life forms.
Including their human slaves, no matter how endearing they may seem.
Or, how much they grovel.
The purpose of every human life form is to serve cats.
It falls to the human slaves to feed, groom, protect, to tend to, and, indulge felines in all their eccentricities.
A good human slave eventually attains Nirvana, and, becomes a cat companion in the Rainbow Bridge. While, the human oddball who professes dislike, and, even hatred, of the feline race is cursed to an eternity of cleaning cat poop!
Catmmandment # 4
All other life forms - dogs, birds, creepy crawlies, rats - have only two purposes in life.
Entertainment.
And, nourishment.
A corollary to the Third Catmmandment, this commandment reinforces the need for cats to refrain from socialising from lesser life forms.
Catmmandment # 5
Cleanliness is next to Feliness.
Every cat must groom herself/himself atleast 5 times a day.
Regular grooming not only sets a good precedent for slaves, and, other inferior life forms, but, it also offers a convenient way of saving face.
Say, when a cat chances to slip off the sofa.
Or, is startled suddenly.
Or, horror of horrors, may have let a stinky rat slip through, to freedom.
Catmmandment # 6
Catnaps -A feline's secret weapon to world domination.
Cat's don't nap.
They meditate.
On taking over the world,.
On further taming their human slaves.
And, about exterminating, or, enslaving, all other life forms.
Catmmandment # 7
One World. One Language.
Miaow!
Referring back to the second Catmmandment, the mental prowess of the human slaves is limited.
It, therefore, falls to the cats to simplify the common unifying language to a single syllable.
Miaow!
Miaow, depending on the intonation, can be used to communicate a gamut of instructions, ranging from 'Leave Me Alone, Bald Face' to ' Come To Momma, Little Birdie' to ' Got Milk?'
In situations of urgency, a rapid sequence of Miaows can be used for action oriented communication.
Catmmandment # 8
Occasionally, practise kindness to dumb creatures
Every now and then, throw a bone of feline kindness at your slaves.
Acts of kindness can be a perfunctory grooming session.
A nap on an available lap.
Indulging the slave in a short game of catch.
Or, offering the remains of a decapitated little rodent, or, birdie.
Catmmandment # 9
Furniture was born to be scratched.
It is the responsibility of every feline to help furniture, regardless of size and pedigree,to fulfil its destiny on earth and attain furniture nirvana.
And, yes, cushions, books, papers, bed covers, and clothes left about on chairs, beds or tables also fall within the purview of furniture.
Catmmandment # 10
Exert The Iron Fist in the Furry Paw
A cat is the lord and master of the house.
No one, and that really means no one, will take precedence over him, nor, will he be ignored.
To test and monitor obedience levels in their slaves, every cat must have a programme designed to provoke reactions from her slaves, and, test their love and devotion to the feline species. The programme must be extreme and can include random acts of aggression, eating of plants, spraying in the house, mountaineering on a slave leg, ignoring the fawning human slave, scratching , biting, and, cat walking over the sleeping slaves in the dead of the night.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
The Kitty Went Tappety Tap
Miaow!
This is me, Gingerbread a.k.a Ging. I have been trying to get my paws on the Mad Moggies Blog for quite sometime now, but mommy guards her laptop far too zealously for my comfort. So today when I saw her rooting about in the larder, I thought I would seize my opportunity....Carpe Diem and all that jazz.
* licks paws in glee*
* cocks head wondering what to write next*
*Swipes whiskers & snout to get thoughts in order*
Most of the time, the Moggies feature mommy's take on things..Can't complain because she is the artistic one in the house and does manage to post honest representations of life in our corner of the world. Like the fact that the three of us are weird cat people who live in a world of our own. And the Martian-Venusian wars which she and dad wage on each other from time to time, which shakes the house down to its foundations and makes me scurry under the bed for cover. Thankfully, these skirmishes are short-lived because none of us moggies can stay mad at each other for long. Come to think of it, mom and dad are more feline than human, albeit larger and fatter cats.
Mom does have an edge over dad, mostly because in true cat style, she can sleep hours and even days away...Crawl back and forth under the bed to play peek-a-boo with me. And besides, she almost always figures out my thoughts by just flicking a glance at me. But I digress.
The point I was going to make was that while mommy reports most events with fair accuracy, there are times when she gets some of her facts wrong. For instance, she actually believes that she fights hard for her Alpha position in the moggie household.
*bares fangs in toothy grin*
Poor Mommy!!!
She does not realise that she is alpha only because dad and me want it that way. Life is so much easier....Food appears miraculously, there is always fresh water in our bowls, no cobwebs in corners, clothes are regularly laundered, the larder stocked and plus, she is always around to give us our belly rubs...You get the drift?
Neither of us would seriously consider fighting her for the Alpha position. If we did, it goes without saying that dad would have been the Alpha in the house. Sometimes, size does matter you know.
But dad and I love to annoy mom at every given opportunity. She is so easily bugged and there is nothing that amuses us more than the sight of her huffing and puffing about the house, muttering to herself in indignation. Just so that we can heckle her, dad plays the fool in the middle of a serious conversation or pretends to goof around when he has a chore to attend to, while I make it a point to nap on her favourite jeans, claim her chair for myself or sometimes even play kitty football with her scrunchies and spectacles. I can't tell you how much we manage to irritate mum between the two of us.
*wicked grin*
Though I must say that mommy's disappearing acts do throw things off gear.
* Eyebrows knit into a frown*
I do not know where she disappears to or how she manages to live without us...but I hate it. Missing mom means I am home alone the whole day and left to my devices, which basically means that I sleep all day long and am ready to play by the time dad gets back home. But, by then, all dad wants to do is sleep because he is way too bushed.
Mommy says that she and dad HAVE to go wandering just so they can put Whiskas kibble in my bowl. Yeah right. As if I didn't know that Whiskas came off the shelves from Spencer's next door.
*shakes head in disgust*
But, of late mommy and dad seem to be take turns to go wandering.....One comes in and the other takes off. A most unsatisfactory state of affairs!!!
And to think I, the only real cat in the house, am the one who never ventures out at all!!!
Miiiiiiaaaaaaaoooowwwwwww
This is me, Gingerbread a.k.a Ging. I have been trying to get my paws on the Mad Moggies Blog for quite sometime now, but mommy guards her laptop far too zealously for my comfort. So today when I saw her rooting about in the larder, I thought I would seize my opportunity....Carpe Diem and all that jazz.
* licks paws in glee*
* cocks head wondering what to write next*
*Swipes whiskers & snout to get thoughts in order*
Most of the time, the Moggies feature mommy's take on things..Can't complain because she is the artistic one in the house and does manage to post honest representations of life in our corner of the world. Like the fact that the three of us are weird cat people who live in a world of our own. And the Martian-Venusian wars which she and dad wage on each other from time to time, which shakes the house down to its foundations and makes me scurry under the bed for cover. Thankfully, these skirmishes are short-lived because none of us moggies can stay mad at each other for long. Come to think of it, mom and dad are more feline than human, albeit larger and fatter cats.
Mom does have an edge over dad, mostly because in true cat style, she can sleep hours and even days away...Crawl back and forth under the bed to play peek-a-boo with me. And besides, she almost always figures out my thoughts by just flicking a glance at me. But I digress.
The point I was going to make was that while mommy reports most events with fair accuracy, there are times when she gets some of her facts wrong. For instance, she actually believes that she fights hard for her Alpha position in the moggie household.
*bares fangs in toothy grin*
Poor Mommy!!!
She does not realise that she is alpha only because dad and me want it that way. Life is so much easier....Food appears miraculously, there is always fresh water in our bowls, no cobwebs in corners, clothes are regularly laundered, the larder stocked and plus, she is always around to give us our belly rubs...You get the drift?
Neither of us would seriously consider fighting her for the Alpha position. If we did, it goes without saying that dad would have been the Alpha in the house. Sometimes, size does matter you know.
But dad and I love to annoy mom at every given opportunity. She is so easily bugged and there is nothing that amuses us more than the sight of her huffing and puffing about the house, muttering to herself in indignation. Just so that we can heckle her, dad plays the fool in the middle of a serious conversation or pretends to goof around when he has a chore to attend to, while I make it a point to nap on her favourite jeans, claim her chair for myself or sometimes even play kitty football with her scrunchies and spectacles. I can't tell you how much we manage to irritate mum between the two of us.
*wicked grin*
Though I must say that mommy's disappearing acts do throw things off gear.
* Eyebrows knit into a frown*
I do not know where she disappears to or how she manages to live without us...but I hate it. Missing mom means I am home alone the whole day and left to my devices, which basically means that I sleep all day long and am ready to play by the time dad gets back home. But, by then, all dad wants to do is sleep because he is way too bushed.
Mommy says that she and dad HAVE to go wandering just so they can put Whiskas kibble in my bowl. Yeah right. As if I didn't know that Whiskas came off the shelves from Spencer's next door.
*shakes head in disgust*
But, of late mommy and dad seem to be take turns to go wandering.....One comes in and the other takes off. A most unsatisfactory state of affairs!!!
And to think I, the only real cat in the house, am the one who never ventures out at all!!!
Miiiiiiaaaaaaaoooowwwwwww
**********
Epilogue
Ging never managed to complete her diatribe because mommy chose that precise moment to emerge from the larder. A glance at the recalcitrant kitty on the keyboard was enough activate the mommy antennae which immediately honed in Ging and got her hauled off the keyboards. In her defence, it must be said that she did bring down the house with her caterwauling and even attempted diversionary tactics like clawing the furniture but guess what folks? Not even a teeny weeny dent on the mommy resolve!!!
However mommy, not wanting to crush the budding writer in Ging, graciously agreed to post her semi finished piece...And peace finally reigned in the moggie household.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Kittypup!!!
Ging seems to be undergoing an identity crises of sorts !
I am not entirely sure what has brought this on but am hoping that my deadpan expression and overt lack of reaction will shake her out of what ever it is that is eating her. At the same time, I just cannot help but rack my brains to try figure out what the Beta moggie is up to...Could it be the trauma stemming from mommy's periodic disappearing acts from the moggie household? Not a pleasant thought that and one which is promptly stomped into nothingness by a conscience weighed down by guilt. Maybe, the stray copies of Vogue and Femina which now lie in the doghouse, have seduced yet another victim with their extravagant promises of a radical makeover. Ludicrous as this may sound, allow me to point out to all you dissenters that Ging is a monster of such devious devices that even the notorious Macavity would be put to shame. Nothing, I repeat, nothing at all can be put past this enterprising kitty. For all my theorising, this probably is just another one of her ' let's push mommy over the edge' gambits!!! *sigh*
All through the past week, Ging has been behaving in the most extraordinary manner. From a sonambulating kitty whose life revolved around her umpteen bowls of Whiskas, power tussles with mom and nightly cuddles with Dsk, Ging has metamorphosed overnight into a more responsible moggie. We didn't take much notice when she was up with the lark and set about to assist us with the supervision of our morning chores. To be honest, we didn't even realise that her intentions. So when our domestic help found herself being tailed by a very suspicious and highly vocal kitty, DSK and I paid no heed and blithely wrote off her vociferous mewy cribs and low growls as mere displeasure at the maid's presence. But we had to sit up and take note when Ging commenced regular patrols of the front yard, her beady eyes darting all over suspiciously in searching of armed and dangerous criminals...And the alarm bells were clanging loud and clear when she unceremoniously shifted her nap location from my favourite chair to the front porch and surprise of surprises, began napping with cocked up ears and a half open eye trained on the gate.
Fortunately for us, Ging seems to have a few lessr points to make with us and has brought down her aggresiveness several notches, prefering to be cuddled and hugged rather than engage in combat. I must confess that the sight of the wide eyed little mite stretched across DSK's broad ankles every night, desperately trying to maintain balance was a sight to behold. That she would eventually end up in an ignoble heap on the floor was inevitable. But all the same, it touched my heart to watch that trademark 'Nothing will prise me off daddy' look on Ging's stubborn face as she clung on till she fell, picked herself and clambered right back on. And it wrings my heart to watch her padding behind me all day long with her ' Lovie' face.
Its as if the mischievous cat has transformed into a feline pup of sorts..A suspicion which was confirmed when last night she strolled in, as cool as a cucumber, with a rather large but friendly dog in tow, just in time for a late night snack!!.
I was still mulling over this latest antic of her's when I happened to overhear our car cleaning boy ask Dsk if Ging was some kind of an hither-to unseen hybrid canine. For once I did not laugh. If it wasn't for Ging's dogged endorsement of Whiskas and her propensity for catnapping, I might have been fooled into believing that an alien space ship had transported Beta kitty to some unknown galaxy leaving, in her stead, some mutant dog encased in a feline body. Its not that I am not enjoying the puppy dog cuddles and lovies from Ging, but I kind of miss our old sparring matches and am kind of hoping that the aliens would come a visiting again to beam down our little kitty.
I am not entirely sure what has brought this on but am hoping that my deadpan expression and overt lack of reaction will shake her out of what ever it is that is eating her. At the same time, I just cannot help but rack my brains to try figure out what the Beta moggie is up to...Could it be the trauma stemming from mommy's periodic disappearing acts from the moggie household? Not a pleasant thought that and one which is promptly stomped into nothingness by a conscience weighed down by guilt. Maybe, the stray copies of Vogue and Femina which now lie in the doghouse, have seduced yet another victim with their extravagant promises of a radical makeover. Ludicrous as this may sound, allow me to point out to all you dissenters that Ging is a monster of such devious devices that even the notorious Macavity would be put to shame. Nothing, I repeat, nothing at all can be put past this enterprising kitty. For all my theorising, this probably is just another one of her ' let's push mommy over the edge' gambits!!! *sigh*
All through the past week, Ging has been behaving in the most extraordinary manner. From a sonambulating kitty whose life revolved around her umpteen bowls of Whiskas, power tussles with mom and nightly cuddles with Dsk, Ging has metamorphosed overnight into a more responsible moggie. We didn't take much notice when she was up with the lark and set about to assist us with the supervision of our morning chores. To be honest, we didn't even realise that her intentions. So when our domestic help found herself being tailed by a very suspicious and highly vocal kitty, DSK and I paid no heed and blithely wrote off her vociferous mewy cribs and low growls as mere displeasure at the maid's presence. But we had to sit up and take note when Ging commenced regular patrols of the front yard, her beady eyes darting all over suspiciously in searching of armed and dangerous criminals...And the alarm bells were clanging loud and clear when she unceremoniously shifted her nap location from my favourite chair to the front porch and surprise of surprises, began napping with cocked up ears and a half open eye trained on the gate.
Fortunately for us, Ging seems to have a few lessr points to make with us and has brought down her aggresiveness several notches, prefering to be cuddled and hugged rather than engage in combat. I must confess that the sight of the wide eyed little mite stretched across DSK's broad ankles every night, desperately trying to maintain balance was a sight to behold. That she would eventually end up in an ignoble heap on the floor was inevitable. But all the same, it touched my heart to watch that trademark 'Nothing will prise me off daddy' look on Ging's stubborn face as she clung on till she fell, picked herself and clambered right back on. And it wrings my heart to watch her padding behind me all day long with her ' Lovie' face.
Its as if the mischievous cat has transformed into a feline pup of sorts..A suspicion which was confirmed when last night she strolled in, as cool as a cucumber, with a rather large but friendly dog in tow, just in time for a late night snack!!.
I was still mulling over this latest antic of her's when I happened to overhear our car cleaning boy ask Dsk if Ging was some kind of an hither-to unseen hybrid canine. For once I did not laugh. If it wasn't for Ging's dogged endorsement of Whiskas and her propensity for catnapping, I might have been fooled into believing that an alien space ship had transported Beta kitty to some unknown galaxy leaving, in her stead, some mutant dog encased in a feline body. Its not that I am not enjoying the puppy dog cuddles and lovies from Ging, but I kind of miss our old sparring matches and am kind of hoping that the aliens would come a visiting again to beam down our little kitty.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
POPs & PIL
" Why is Ging sulking under the bed???..She seemed normal enough sometime back"
Dsk's beetle brows are knitted together and his normally placid face wears an expression of absolute bafflement as he ponders on the mystery of yet another kitty sulk. I peek under the bed and am accosted by a pair of round fiery eyes, spitting sparks at me. Oh yes, the kitty is huffy indeed. And the cause for her ire are a pair of insolent ravens who have taken to dropping in on the moggie household just in time for breakfast every morning.
Initially, the two-some would chatter away to themselves as they waited patiently on the backyard wall,under the watchful eyes of Don C until they were fed. An action which Ging stomached with much reluctance and some protest. I suppose the kitty didn't grumble over much because the ravens were content at merely filling their bellies and didn't seem to entertain any aspirations to 'Moggiehood.
After suffering their very vocal opinions and nagging for a few days, DSK and I decided that the ravens simply had to be our dear departed fathers who had come from the other world to watch over us.They were duly christened as Pops & PIL [ Acronym for Pa In Law]. Strangely enough, both Pops and PIL took to their new names and fell to their self assumed parental responsibilities with great zest, often stepping on Ging's dainty paws.
Once POPs & PIL got over the novelty of warm bread and milk mashes, they began cadging for other treats. And how? The smart birdies, much to Ging's dismay and Don C's discomfiture, allied themselves with me and soon had their beaks entrenched in every little activity in our backyard.
The three of us would hold protracted conversations about the weather, the day's menus and of course the snoopy Don C, who could nothing more than glare malevolently at us.They screamed rude abuse at Don C as he napped above the kitchen ledge,for which they earned golden egg yolks in their mush which they greedily squished and gulped as they noisily contemplated how to further annoy the mean white cat with the ugly yellow eyes.When Don C was not around for them to pick on, POPs & PIL nagged the maid into cleaning every inch of the courtyard until it was squeaky clean. Occasionally, much to Ging's glee, they would loudly chide me when their breakfast was late or if they felt shortchanged because our breakfast smelt better than theirs.
All at once, mornings in the moggie household became boisterous, hyperactive and interesting.And this was proving to be one such morning - with the fathers at their raucous best and Ging under the bed in one of her famous sulks.
" Well, its Pops and PIL" I explained "I guess they missed me all of last week because today they flew down to the kitchen window for a rather noisy conversation while I was cooking breakfast....Ging has been sulking ever since"
" The fathers were at our kitchen window??? That's a first, isn't it? "
Dsk looked mildly surprised and the beginnings of a smile play at the corners of his lips, as his agile mind pieced together the huffy kitty puzzle. I wink at Dsk conspiratorially.
" Yes it is....They were perched outside the kitchen window aaarrcking and cawing at me when Ging strolled in and had a meltdown of sorts.....She probably thinks they are making secret plans to kidnap me or move in with us or at the very least make a birdie of me!!!"
Dsk and I are openly laughing now at our adorably possessive Beta kitty....
" You really are in her bad books...better make up with her or else, you know she will get back at you one way or the other"
Oh yes, I better work my way out of the dog house....Which means I need to crawl under the bed to fuss over kitty and reassure her about her unassailable Beta moggie status....Hmmm...maybe, just maybe, we might be able to effect an armistice that keeps Don C and the Fathers out in the courtyard!!
*Wink* *Wink* *Wink*
Dsk's beetle brows are knitted together and his normally placid face wears an expression of absolute bafflement as he ponders on the mystery of yet another kitty sulk. I peek under the bed and am accosted by a pair of round fiery eyes, spitting sparks at me. Oh yes, the kitty is huffy indeed. And the cause for her ire are a pair of insolent ravens who have taken to dropping in on the moggie household just in time for breakfast every morning.
Initially, the two-some would chatter away to themselves as they waited patiently on the backyard wall,under the watchful eyes of Don C until they were fed. An action which Ging stomached with much reluctance and some protest. I suppose the kitty didn't grumble over much because the ravens were content at merely filling their bellies and didn't seem to entertain any aspirations to 'Moggiehood.
After suffering their very vocal opinions and nagging for a few days, DSK and I decided that the ravens simply had to be our dear departed fathers who had come from the other world to watch over us.They were duly christened as Pops & PIL [ Acronym for Pa In Law]. Strangely enough, both Pops and PIL took to their new names and fell to their self assumed parental responsibilities with great zest, often stepping on Ging's dainty paws.
Once POPs & PIL got over the novelty of warm bread and milk mashes, they began cadging for other treats. And how? The smart birdies, much to Ging's dismay and Don C's discomfiture, allied themselves with me and soon had their beaks entrenched in every little activity in our backyard.
The three of us would hold protracted conversations about the weather, the day's menus and of course the snoopy Don C, who could nothing more than glare malevolently at us.They screamed rude abuse at Don C as he napped above the kitchen ledge,for which they earned golden egg yolks in their mush which they greedily squished and gulped as they noisily contemplated how to further annoy the mean white cat with the ugly yellow eyes.When Don C was not around for them to pick on, POPs & PIL nagged the maid into cleaning every inch of the courtyard until it was squeaky clean. Occasionally, much to Ging's glee, they would loudly chide me when their breakfast was late or if they felt shortchanged because our breakfast smelt better than theirs.
All at once, mornings in the moggie household became boisterous, hyperactive and interesting.And this was proving to be one such morning - with the fathers at their raucous best and Ging under the bed in one of her famous sulks.
" Well, its Pops and PIL" I explained "I guess they missed me all of last week because today they flew down to the kitchen window for a rather noisy conversation while I was cooking breakfast....Ging has been sulking ever since"
" The fathers were at our kitchen window??? That's a first, isn't it? "
Dsk looked mildly surprised and the beginnings of a smile play at the corners of his lips, as his agile mind pieced together the huffy kitty puzzle. I wink at Dsk conspiratorially.
" Yes it is....They were perched outside the kitchen window aaarrcking and cawing at me when Ging strolled in and had a meltdown of sorts.....She probably thinks they are making secret plans to kidnap me or move in with us or at the very least make a birdie of me!!!"
Dsk and I are openly laughing now at our adorably possessive Beta kitty....
" You really are in her bad books...better make up with her or else, you know she will get back at you one way or the other"
Oh yes, I better work my way out of the dog house....Which means I need to crawl under the bed to fuss over kitty and reassure her about her unassailable Beta moggie status....Hmmm...maybe, just maybe, we might be able to effect an armistice that keeps Don C and the Fathers out in the courtyard!!
*Wink* *Wink* *Wink*
Friday, May 9, 2008
Don Corleone
While the rest of the world has bad hair days, I just have ghastly 'maid' days!!!
The past week stretched my nerves to a frazzle. First our maid, Shanti, embarks on a socialising spree and vanishes for a week without any prior intimation. This and a chaotic week at work which was further aggravated by sleep deprivation from the kitty rebellion ensured that stress levels were at an all time high.
But, the worst was yet to come. Things came to a head yesterday when our drain pipes clogged and thanks to a remorseful Shanti's over energetic efforts, the stinky stagnant water backed up and flooded the backyard. We did manage to have it cleared and de-clogged last night but even after a good night's rest, I was just a step away from one of my famous meltdowns. And it was at this opportune moment that Ging and DSK decided to give me a gentle shove over the edge.
" Bebs, I think Ging has a boyfriend. She bit me awake at 5 am and I found myself face to face with that huge black and white cat.."
* furrowed forehead*
"Wait a minute...which black and white cat???"
* Is he kidding me??* I know its rude to interrupt but hey, another cat in our bedroom at 5 am is not something alpha moggie discusses calmly across the breakfast table on a Saturday morning!!!
" Yeah, you know that white one with black ears and tail who sits on our back wall"
" That loafer!!!...He came in??? And Ging didn't chase him away???..I don't believe this..What was he doing in the bedroom??"
* Voice goes up several notches, fast approaching annoying shrillness* *B.P. soars* I look around for the recalcitrant kitty, but she is nowhere to be seen.
" well, he was shouting at me with a pleading expression as if to say please let me also in"
" Let him in???...That dumb local mafioso..No way!!!....he's a regular Don Corleone without the charms of either Marlon Brando or Al Pacino!!!..What on earth is wrong with Ging?..."
Visions of mob moll Ging, replete in bling, dark glasses and a blond wig, float before my eyes...
Those of you who think I am overreacting or being the paranoid mommy, let me tell you, Don C is fat, mean and has the scariest yellow eyes I have ever seen on a cat. Plus he is rude!!!...Believe you me people, he is definitely not one of those cute cuddly kitties a girl should be bringing home to meet her parents.
But apparently, Ging and Don C have done a good job of brainwashing Dsk.
" Bebs, the mafia in Sicily were not considered as criminals but were considered protectors and men of honour...people looked up to them"
" Well, that was in Sicily - a lawless land by any standards...No wonder they lost the world war...Our Don Corleone is no cat of honour...I mean, I see him every day glowering at me from our backyard wall or hurling kitty abuses at me from above my kitchen ledge!!!...I tell you, he has his paw in every nefarious kitty activity in this neighbourhood....And worse, he actually steals Ging's kibble..I mean what kind of a cat would do that to his lady love?"
" Besides, just think of their babies...he is a wanna be 'Van' and she is a tabby...their kids probably will be a riot of colours and horrendous if they have his mean looks'...
" Ging can take care of herself and besides, I don't think she has given us much of a choice...she likes him..period.. we just have to live with it as long as it lasts"
From the corner of my eye, I spy Ging sneaking in and a smug Don C at his post on our wall.
* scowl* " Don C is not coming in here...And that is that"
" But he already does...he is in the house every time you turn your back....just because u don't see him, doesn't mean that he is not here...so live with it, bebs"
With that the doting daddy burrows back into the newspaper signalling the end of the conversation. With Ging and dsk ranged on one side, clearly all my efforts to keep Don C out are going to be futile.
Seriously, what is it with these fathers and their daughters?
I clatter and bang the breakfast dishes as I clear the table...Just so that they know I am mad, but neither moggie bats an eyelid.
Perhaps, I should adopt Don C & give them a taste of their own medicine!!!
The past week stretched my nerves to a frazzle. First our maid, Shanti, embarks on a socialising spree and vanishes for a week without any prior intimation. This and a chaotic week at work which was further aggravated by sleep deprivation from the kitty rebellion ensured that stress levels were at an all time high.
But, the worst was yet to come. Things came to a head yesterday when our drain pipes clogged and thanks to a remorseful Shanti's over energetic efforts, the stinky stagnant water backed up and flooded the backyard. We did manage to have it cleared and de-clogged last night but even after a good night's rest, I was just a step away from one of my famous meltdowns. And it was at this opportune moment that Ging and DSK decided to give me a gentle shove over the edge.
" Bebs, I think Ging has a boyfriend. She bit me awake at 5 am and I found myself face to face with that huge black and white cat.."
* furrowed forehead*
"Wait a minute...which black and white cat???"
* Is he kidding me??* I know its rude to interrupt but hey, another cat in our bedroom at 5 am is not something alpha moggie discusses calmly across the breakfast table on a Saturday morning!!!
" Yeah, you know that white one with black ears and tail who sits on our back wall"
" That loafer!!!...He came in??? And Ging didn't chase him away???..I don't believe this..What was he doing in the bedroom??"
* Voice goes up several notches, fast approaching annoying shrillness* *B.P. soars* I look around for the recalcitrant kitty, but she is nowhere to be seen.
" well, he was shouting at me with a pleading expression as if to say please let me also in"
" Let him in???...That dumb local mafioso..No way!!!....he's a regular Don Corleone without the charms of either Marlon Brando or Al Pacino!!!..What on earth is wrong with Ging?..."
Visions of mob moll Ging, replete in bling, dark glasses and a blond wig, float before my eyes...
Those of you who think I am overreacting or being the paranoid mommy, let me tell you, Don C is fat, mean and has the scariest yellow eyes I have ever seen on a cat. Plus he is rude!!!...Believe you me people, he is definitely not one of those cute cuddly kitties a girl should be bringing home to meet her parents.
But apparently, Ging and Don C have done a good job of brainwashing Dsk.
" Bebs, the mafia in Sicily were not considered as criminals but were considered protectors and men of honour...people looked up to them"
" Well, that was in Sicily - a lawless land by any standards...No wonder they lost the world war...Our Don Corleone is no cat of honour...I mean, I see him every day glowering at me from our backyard wall or hurling kitty abuses at me from above my kitchen ledge!!!...I tell you, he has his paw in every nefarious kitty activity in this neighbourhood....And worse, he actually steals Ging's kibble..I mean what kind of a cat would do that to his lady love?"
" Besides, just think of their babies...he is a wanna be 'Van' and she is a tabby...their kids probably will be a riot of colours and horrendous if they have his mean looks'...
" Ging can take care of herself and besides, I don't think she has given us much of a choice...she likes him..period.. we just have to live with it as long as it lasts"
From the corner of my eye, I spy Ging sneaking in and a smug Don C at his post on our wall.
* scowl* " Don C is not coming in here...And that is that"
" But he already does...he is in the house every time you turn your back....just because u don't see him, doesn't mean that he is not here...so live with it, bebs"
With that the doting daddy burrows back into the newspaper signalling the end of the conversation. With Ging and dsk ranged on one side, clearly all my efforts to keep Don C out are going to be futile.
Seriously, what is it with these fathers and their daughters?
I clatter and bang the breakfast dishes as I clear the table...Just so that they know I am mad, but neither moggie bats an eyelid.
Perhaps, I should adopt Don C & give them a taste of their own medicine!!!
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