Trash Those Damn Resolutions!

It is that time of the year again!
The air is abuzz with party plans and festivities..with laughter and giggles...with warm fuzzy love vibes as people reach out to one another....
And, much to my regret, it is buzzing with resolutions as well!!!
Apart from swapping notes on New Year plans, it appears that the favourite past-time of a vast majority of the urban population is to identify resolutions to ring in the New Year. Almost everyone seeks a goal for the year ahead with a passion that they might not even dedicate to the discovery of the Holy Grail.
It isn't that I have a bee in my bonnet about resolutions. I do not....Even though resolutions do go against my belief that one should ease up in life and enjoy the joyride for what it is worth. But over the past many days, I have watched people obsessing about resolutions. A gazillion ideas have been pounced upon with unholy glee and examined with abating excitement. Some are found wanting and discarded almost at once. Others are adopted with much enthusiasm and fan fare. Resolutions have indeed become the season's hottest fashion accessory!
People just can't seem to stop talking about them..
Who has the best resolutions? And how many?
Not the most relevant, mind you..Nor the most meaningful...Not even the most achievable, for that matter.
It just has to be the best on one's social circuit.
And right in the middle of this resolution crazed world, stands poor non-believing me who is just too energy deficient to even thinking of going with the flow.
I gave up on resolutions a long long time ago. Too much of effort you see. And it did hurt my posterior, not to mention my ego, when I fell off by the wayside on day 2 of the New Year.
So after giving resolutions a shot or two, I quit. Because I realised that I was rather happy being me. I did not want to talk or eat less or lose more weight. I did not aspire to be more diplomatic or less obsessive about details. If I were to control my temper or throw lesser tantrums or worse, stop talking to myself, I would be very uncomfortable in my own skin.
And where would I be without my day dreams & idealism???
I did not want to cut back on my vices - caffeine, cocoa & passive smoking- without which I would be very lost. And I most definitely did not want to connect with friends and family or make new friends under duress.
I realised that I like myself just the way I am. And that I would like to live life one day at a time, savouring its joys and growing from the sorrows that may come my way. Along the way, I may set goals for myself..But that would only be because the need for it comes from deep within and not because it is the flavour of the season.
And so, to the kind hearted souls who come my way determined to help me identify resolutions, just so that I belong, and to those still in search of their resolutions, I have only one thing to say - Trash Those Damn Resolutions!!!! .....Seize The Day!!!...Live In The Moment!!!
Happy New Year Folks!






Pssst: For those of you out there who are still in search of resolutions, try Benrik. Benrik's This Diary Which Will Change Your Life has some really interesting goals which are sure to make you the talk of your social circuit. And for those of you who, like me, disdain resolutions, do read Benrik anyway. It's fun..It's whacky..And it will make you smile.

Not Intentionally You Know

" Do you know what Corporate India desperately needs???"
I open my mouth to proffer a suggestion when it struck me that I wasn't really expected to answer. In fact, anything I said would only distract my irate friend, who had a tendency to overindulge in rhetorical questions while venting in anger, sorrow, excitement and sometimes, even to narrate common place incidents. So I held my peace and braced myself....Because, like it or not, I was just about to find out what exactly it was that me and the rest of my toiling brethren in India lacked.

“Lessons in Fear Management...The great Indian salaried class needs to learn how to cut across hierarchy and manage their irrational fears of the powers that are ..Isn't it ridiculous how fear can paralyse the brain and disable logical thinking?? "

*sigh* It would seem that she had done it again.
If there ever was a magnet for trouble, my fire-brand friend had to be it. And she didn't even have to go in search of it. Conniving colleagues, vicious acquaintances, back stabbing politicians from work, rude vendors, gossip mongers, relatives who conveniently forgot favours done.....They all flocked to her, like bees to the honey pot. It wasn't that she was a mean virago. She was just a sensitive but brutally honest girl who adopted causes and under dogs with much enthusiasm and almost no second thoughts. Sadly, she was also a novice in the fine art of dissembling which contributed greatly to the steady stream of turbulence in her life.

“Would you believe this? I had ordered for some catalogues which were delivered when I was travelling. So I asked my colleague to hang on to them, promising to take them off her hands as soon as I got back. But this morning when I checked, she had shipped off more than half of those catalogues to our Mumbai office just because someone there had run out of stocks and was trying to save his butt by grabbing it from where ever. Apparently he brandished some director's name and this lady mutely sent across the copies he asked for....And, no one even checked with me if they could take them!!!"

I could well understand her indignation but was not too surprised. It was the law of her world. The weaklings always sheltered behind our little lioness, who would only roar her annoyance at them but not stoop to mangle them to bits. I had, in the past, heard examples of this colleague and some others scuttling for cover, leaving her to face the brunt of the boss's fury when things at work had gone wrong. It was the classic case of the barking dog not biting. However, I couldn't help but wonder aloud as what the two poachers could have possibly said to mollify her.

"Do I sound mollified to you??" She roared at me " I am furious....I feel invaded....And Do you know what she told me when I confronted her??? She said this guy had cited her boss's name and was so very insistent that visions of her angry boss drove all thoughts of the catalogues' ownership out of her mind!!! She apologised for messing up my schedule and then tells me that I am not to be angry because it was not intentional.."

Her voice was filled with utter disbelief and anger.
"As if it makes things better....Intentional or unintentional, don't they realise that the end result is the same?....It’s amazing how fear cripples people and disables their thinking process. This guy in Mumbai goofed up and to cover his negligence, he calls my colleague, invokes her boss's name and she in turn mindlessly sends out the first lot of catalogues she can lay her hands on...Seriously...they all need to go for counseling to deal with this mindless fear!!!"

" Well, a vast majority of the working class are afraid of their bosses...But even in extreme fear, I doubt very many would behave the way your colleague has....She behaved badly and I hope you made that clear to her....Its not as if the two of you are in kindergarten and can be excused for swiping each other's crayons"
" Exactly, I even quoted the 10th Commandment at her"
" You What?"
" You know....Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's properties..." She explains impatiently

With a twinkle in my eye, I enlighten her " You should have been quoting the 8th at her..Thou Shalt Not Steal....And besides, it's the neighbour's wife and house you are not supposed to covet, silly..Not a stack of catalogues"
And pat comes the reply " A mere technicality....You didn't expect God to chisel out a comprehensive list of the neighbour's 'non-covetable' possessions, did you??? Wife, Husband, House, Jewellery, Gadgets, Catalogues..they all belong to someone and therefore are property...AND ARE NOT TO BE COVETED!!!"
End of the discussion.
Not that it matters. I just couldn't have argued with that one anyway!!

Caffeine For The Tech Moron

Yes, I am a self proclaimed Tech Moron. And I firmly believe that one day the machines will rise against the human race, reducing us to nothing but a snivelling bunch of fearful slaves. Blame it on what you will - An overdose of morbid Sci-fi or on James Cameron & Arnold Schwarzenegger of Terminator fame.... But, this remains one of my unshakable theories about life which, so far, no-one has managed to budge me from....
But there are occasions when I am forced to hunker down to pay my obeisances to Technology. Like when I discovered the joys of the Internet....Apart from helping me track down and connect with faces from my past and my loved ones, the Internet also shrank my world in a way I never thought possible.
All at once, I could write to my heart's content & share it with the world....Hunt for recipes....Track down terrific reading material...Research anything under the sun....But, the reason I am truly appreciative of the Internet is because it has also brought into my life, some wonderful cyber siblings of all ages, sizes and shapes....
OK, so I am on a uncharacteristic nostalgia trip. ...
But hey, its 2 a.m and I have just received a great huge slice of rich, gooey chocolate fudge from one of my cyber sisters...So, sue me for gloating !!!








...* Big Big Toothy Grin*.....
This is Jeethu's creative instincts at work....And as a pick me up, it beats Black Coffee in an I.V.... anyday, anytime !!! .... Now tell me if you can, in all honesty, ask me to can my smile??? You can't...can you???

On a more sober note, I just realised that it is not very often that I acknowledge and thank the wonderful people who encourage me to keep writing..The confidence that some of you have in me, scares the living daylights out of me!!!
So here's to all you wonderfully warm 'Coffee Shots' who make the sun shine all the more brighter on me......My little virtual artist Jeethu & my dear friend Vicky who periodically seek [and almost always fails] to transform me into a tech savvy writer........My dear friends Prasanna, Vids, Vini, Shail, Roopa, KKay, Vidu......My mentors Toby, & Udayan....And, all the wonderful people who keep coming back to visit the Moggies...

Thank you for the hand-holding you do. And God Bless.



P.S: Just in case you do not find your name in the list, please do not assume that I am unappreciative of your support and affection......Unfortunately, I am not getting any younger and as much as I hate to admit it, age is most definitely taking its toll on my poor grey cells.....



NOTE: All images in this post are the exclusive property of Jeethu and cannot be reproduced without the express prior written permission of the artist!!

Curry For The Indian Soul

The hype surrounding the humble chicken soup never ceases to surprise me. As does the fact that it seems to have taken half the world by storm in more ways than one. I can understand, and occasionally concur, with the vehement claims about Chicken Soup warming your insides on a cold bleary day or while working late at night. But, for the life of me, I just cannot figure out how chicken soup combats the germs within, when you are shivering feverishly under your blankets. Perhaps it has everything to do with me being a hard core Indian lass who loves her spices.
For me, fever or any illness for that matter, inevitably means generous helpings of my all time favourite meal - Kanji or the rice gruel with fiery Chamanthi, the coarsely ground Coconut accompaniment which is well flavoured with tamarind, red and green chillies and curry leaves. When laced with cumin flavoured yogurt and some tangy pickle, it definitely is the most delicious meal in the world.
I figure people all over India would have their own personal picks when it comes to 'invalid' meals but the one thing I can safely bet on is that not very many would be slurping chicken soup in the face of a microbe invasion!!! Why, even the Fast Food Giants - Pizza Hut, Subway and McDonald's - have had to bring on the Tikkas and Kebabs to satisfy the Indian yen for all things hot and spicy.
So when I stumbled across a whole damn rack of 'Chicken Soup For the Indian Soul' in my favourite book shop, I was quite speechless with indignation.
Chicken Soup indeed!!!...
Agreed that the 'Chicken Soup For the Soul' series have been a runaway success all over the world. But this is India.... The land of Curry, Kanji and Butter Chicken!!!. ..All of which demand and deserve just tribute from the literary world. Frankly, can you imagine anyone of us* reaching out for a steaming mug of Chicken Soup as a pick me up??? Rasam, perhaps. Biriyani, maybe. Curry & Kebabs, most definitely......
In my considered opinion, the title should have been Kanji for the Indian Soul or perhaps, Kichari....or even better, Curry For the Indian Soul... It has a nice ring to it.....And is just what the doctor ordered!!!
Beats me why neither the editor nor the publisher bothered to stretch their imaginations outside their itsy bitsy boxes!!!..
And about the book? Well, I decided to give it a fair read ...And guess what? It was as bland as the soup!!! Perhaps, the title was not a bad choice after all.....

* Author's Note: You qualify for the 'anyone of us' category if, and only if, you posses the average Indian palate....Read that as Spice, More Spice & Even More Spice!!!

Me Who?

My head pounds as my phone rings with the umpteenth call of the day. I am already high on caffeine but grab yet another shot of black coffee and excuse myself once more from a team meeting...As I leave the room, I can see a steady stream of high priority emails trickling into my inbox, all of which scream for my immediate attention. The day is just half done and I am ready to throw in the towel. Gosh, I miss Ging!!!...

Half way through my conversation, some rather persistent Joe begins to stretch my already frayed nerves by continuously interrupting the call. Sometimes, I wonder why science hasn't come up with an etiquette chip which can be inserted into us humans just so that everyone everywhere knows that it is not okay to interrupt calls, amongst other things. But Joe has no clue just how dogged an Alpha can be because I grit my teeth and continue with my conversation. Obviously, life with Ging has trained me well for the interlopers of the human kind.

As I drain the last dregs of my coffee, the stragglers from my team slowly wander back in...And the phone rings again!!!
I don't know this number and worse, all I can hear is a great din. Seriously, why on earth do people position themselves right next to cacophonous motors when they make calls?

Note to the inventor of the Etiquette Chip: Please do add a list of places which make for inappropriate environments for telephone calls...And please, please do include bathrooms as well!!! I just hate it when people insist on taking calls while they are attending to their elimination needs and even worse, have no compunctions about announcing it. I don't get it...As the world moves towards stricter emission control norms, why not apply it to the environment we humans live in? But I digress..

I text a quick message to the mystery caller
" May I know who this is? I am currently in a meeting, so may I call you back?"
and pat comes the reply
" Its me, da. Call me back"
No matter how geared you think you are to take on the world, there inevitably will be that one blithe, supremely confident soul who can derail you in a instant!!! And this ''Me' with a penchant for noisy automobiles was most certainly one of them.
* sigh* Well, the only thing you can do when life throws you a curveball, is to go with the flow....

Chocolate For The Soul

Today, I got a sticky gooey square of chocolate. *Big toothy grin*
In my mail box... From my cousin Vidu, who is probably now on her way to India.
She made my day, not just by complimenting me on my writing skills but by also letting me know that her brother shared her opinion. WOW!!!.....Compliments from the family...Now, that means so much more to me than anything else in the world!!!
*stupid sheepish grin*
Well, a round eyed, awed 'OH MY GOD!!!....YOU HAVE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT' comes a very close second !!
* shuffles foot around like Long John Silver prodding at an imaginary ant with his wooden stump *
Yup, I am a big sucker for compliments!!!...Aren't we all??
Be it the size of a little M&M or a giant nutty Snickers bar, nothing like a compliment to put a goofy smile on my face and an endorphin induced spring in my step!!!

Manic Monday

I hate Mondays!!! Especially those which come after a long cozy weekend spent under the covers with books, TV and lots of calorie laden goodies to munch on. Well, that was exactly how I spent my weekend, thanks to the tentacles of terror which had gripped the country and kept most of us in Bangalore indoors. The only time I bestirred my lazy corpulent self was to drive across town to drop off some DVDs at my designer-friend Ranjit's place...an exercise which was well worth the effort because at his place, I was accosted by the cutest, fluffiest and might I say, the naughtiest kitten I have ever seen.
Here's a pic of the feline brat.....Don't you just love that wide eyed look of pure unadulterated mischief shining out of those luminous eyes??? I wish I could pack her into my bag and smuggle her away to Chennai...though I suspect Ging would not be very amused by that.

Coming back to my manic Monday...This is just one of those Mondays which went down-hill from the moment the cock crowed. For starters, my resolve to work off my weekend excesses with a brisk early morning walk at the crack of dawn proved to be a washout, thanks to the pouring rains. And then, just when I managed to drag myself into work looking forward to some much needed human company, I snapped a strap on my sandal. Drat!!!...Trust my luck. I have since then spent the day at my desk in an uninhabited office, being socially challenged since a trip to the nearest gossip hot spot would require me to hobble all over the campus like Long John Silver on his wooden stump. Quelling my yen for gossip, I try hard to focus on work but am distracted by mouth watering visions of plates of steaming rice liberally doused with fiery fish curry - my favourite one, which has bits of raw mango simmered in a coconut gravy !!! How in the wide blazes am I supposed to work when assailed by visions of such irresistable gastronomical delights???

*Sigh* Mondays really do suck!!...I just wish I could fast forward the rest of the day so that I can get back home and delve under the warm comfort of my blanket!!! Actually I wish I could fast forward to the end of the week, when I can go back to Chennai and cook myself my favourite fish curry!!!

Remembering Erma

Ok, this is not one of my conventional posts which ramble about Ging's antics or rather her feuds with me or about her blind adoration of her daddy dearest. For one good reason. I have been away from home for close to two weeks now and have had nothing much to write about other than rather mundane gossip from work. So, over the past couple of weeks, I have been reading a lot of Erma Bombeck, an American humorist whose column about suburban home life sky-rocketed her to literary stardom in the second half of the 20th century. And I have loved every page of all her books I picked up. So much so that I have put together some of my favourite Bombeck witticisms....which find a special place in my heart not only because of the wit factor, but also because it can't get truer that that...

" A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with the outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle."...Err, I agree....not because Ging waltzes in sporting fishnet stockings...She just sports Don C, who invokes bleary visions of empty gin, whiskey & cheap rum bottles by the dozen!!!....

"Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you"...So true!!! I grew up watching dad and my uncle vying with each other for the silliest of things like whose house is taller, whose dog is most ferocious, who had the newer car, and...whose drunken antics were dumber!!!. Their feuds were a source of endless entertainment for us though I now wonder how my mom and aunt survived them!!!

"God created man, but I could do better" ...And probably with leftovers rather than a rib reluctantly parted with!!!

" Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. " ....Don't you love this lady???

" I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex. " ...This totally cracked me up. I would never give up food for a man and would love to meet a blighted soul who did and actually thought it was worth it!

" I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. " ...Isn't it funny how they materialise out of the woodwork, dime a dozen, when we have one of our 'pudgy' days??

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else"

" There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there." ..One of life's tragedies is that there are so many people who do this!!!

" Never accept a drink from a urologist. " * Big Toothy Grin* ....How much more wicked can she get?

" People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. "...Oh,so true!!! I often wonder if people who choose their spouses for their looks, wealth, etc eventually end up regretting their choices....

" Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip. " - Amen to that!!! * Big toothy smile*
" What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? " ....he he he.....I loved that shot!!!

"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food”...Erma, if only I could hug you for this one!!!...People laugh at me when I say that I am a sacrificial lamb at the alter of gastronomical delights... but seriously, what would they do without my expert guidance in the matters of good taste???

“Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.”....Oooooh yes, Ginger is my pick, if Jalapenos don't qualify as a spice!!! And no, this has nothing to do with the cat, Gingerbread..

"The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a other must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.”....I leave it to the mothers out there to give their opinions on this one...

" There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo." ...Actually, I wouldn't mind too much because I don't photograph very well and my passport has a rather flattering picture of me..But I have seen some horrendous pictures in people's passports...

And the clincher, " I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes"

Is there anyone out there who can dispute this one???